You are Worthy of Your Dream

Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared? Is there something calling you? Or is there something you’ve locked in a drawer for years?

I just want you to know that you are not alone. A lot of us take our dreams and passions and stuff them in a drawer as silly childhood dreams. We feel like we have to pick something practical, or we’re told by othersthat we’ll never be able to achieve what we desire. I know that we are currently in an existential crisis in this world. Those of us who have chosen practical over passion are working in jobs that we don’t love, going about our lives taking care of our families and running out of time to focus on anything else. Or we feel like we’re not worthy of taking the time for ourselves to explore those passions.

After the last recession, and especially within the millenials, there has been a push to piece together different jobs or interests into something that will support themselves and pay the bills. Something that they want to show up for every day. Something that doesn’t burn them out or make them feel empty inside. There has been a resurgence of crafts and fiber arts, independent contractors, online shops. A lot of these makers are working one or more jobs in addition to these “hobbies” in order to pay the bills. They might wind up working more hours than if they just had a full-time job but they are looking for more fulfillment and happiness out of their work. Unfortunately this may mean that they don’t have health insurance. Some are lucky to have a spouse who can supplement their income and provide health insurance but some are just doing it on their own.

I found myself in this position back in 2014, driving over an hour to and from work in traffic, scared of being in the next group of employees to be laid off but also hoping that I would be as I had other dreams I wanted to explore. I worked for a magazine company and edited articles about people who were moving into old farmhouses and producing products like handmade soaps. They were able to sell these at farmers markets and even at a little stand by the road in front of their farms. I fell in love with this idea! I wasn’t going to move to a farmhouse or tend a farm - really just not my vibe - but I figured that I could come up with a product I could make and sell from my home.

This was the scariest thing I’ve ever thought about. I spent months dreaming and scheming on how this could be accomplished. I really love aromatherapy and figured I could make scrubs and bath salts. I was able to find a part time graphic design job closer to home and crunched the numbers to figure out how I could pay for my own healthcare through Obamacare and cover all my other bills. I was finally ready to make the leap and so excited! Unfortunately my part time job didn’t provide the steady hours I needed so it put a lot of pressure on my handmade business, which I was hoping to slowly build up. Let’s just say that things didn’t go well. There were several things that I hadn’t anticipated and it just wasn’t sustainable and I wasn’t able to get the business up and running amid worrying about bills and just feeling like I had lost the security and stability that my full-time job provided. I started getting panic attacks and eventually made the decision to look for another full-time job with the hope that I would be able to work on my handmade business in my free time so there wasn’t as much pressure on it.

I took about five years to lick my wounds, regroup, and come up with some other products that I could produce that wouldn’t have a short shelf life. I've been actively working towards this for the past two years and feel like it’s slowly coming together. But there is definitely plenty of self-doubt. Especially after ordering business cards, shipping supplies, and starting to build my shop and price my bags.

So here’s what I’ve learned and offer to you in your journey. Just do it! It doesn’t have to be perfect - you’re building a skill. You don’t have to quit your job to do it - just take some time every day or every week to commit to thing that brings you joy. You don’t have to put a price tag on this endevour - you can do it just for the joy of it. It’s value isn’t necessarily financial. It’s value could be simply allowing you time to explore your creativity and give your life something it’s been missing.

I’ve been reading The Crossroads Between Should and Must by Elle Luna and she discusses all of these challenges. It’s been good to know that it’s not just me who struggles with these issues. The book includes several exercises to help you sharpen your vision about what this creative outlet means to you and how to carve out time for it in your busy life. I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with these issues.

I know this was long and rambling but I just want you to know that you’ve got this! This is achievable! If you’ve had something calling you and pulling at your sleeve it’s time to devote some energy to it. Don’t stick it in a drawer for another twenty years without giving yourself the opportunity to explore. It may not always be pleasant but it will defnitely allow for further self-discovery and growth. If this crazy pandemic has taught me anything it’s that you just don’t know what the future holds. So why wait to do what makes you happy? Why wait until the elusvie retirement date to do what you’ve always wanted to do in life? So pick up that paint brush, journal, crochet hook, or even a sewing machine and get started. Take some time every week to explore your creativity - it just might add some needed color to your world…and ours.